The same way bad news is more noticeable than good news, bad memories sometimes seem to be retained better than good memories, and negative traits stand out more than positive traits, these are all manifestations of negativity bias. I might go so far as to suggest if we aren’t actively countering negativity bias, it’s easy to enter a negativity spiral.

In this post, I’ll share some personal reflections on how negativity bias affects my hobbies, particularly game development, and the affirmations I use to counter these negative thoughts.

When spiraling, assuming you want to stop spiraling, the first step is to realize that you’re spiraling and that you’d like to break out, which can be hard. Take a step back. Discuss with "yourself" for an outside opinion — what would someone you trust that knows you say about the matter? Imagine a role model you wish you had, one who was compassionate and understood that life is not a steady journey in one direction. What would they tell you about your situation? There are missteps and setbacks, but we get back up again, reset, and keep going.

For me, one of my main hobbies is game development. You can often find me playing around in Godot or Unity working on whatever new game I’m working on that week. However, sometimes I become intensely frustrated with this hobby. It feels pointless, and more so when I can’t seem to finish anything. You go on itch.io and see all the amazing games that people are making; what’s wrong with me that I can’t be one of those people who’s finished something? Or if I have the capability to build something besides games, why am I "wasting" my time on games? Even if I was able to finish games, what would be the point? Is the world a better place for it?

In my case, I was disappointed and confused with myself that my main hobby, game development, seemed pointless and untenable. So I imagined going to my local indie gaming meetup and asking someone: why do you do it? What keeps you going? Why bother? What if you give up before you finish? And in my mind I came to a startling realization. The answer is, ultimately, people. We build games as a way to create interesting new experiences for people, because without art (music, TV, books, games) the world would be insufferable. Gamedevs want to make people feel something: happiness, sadness, frustration, elation, all components of immersion into a world better and different from this one. Since games take so long to make, though, we also have to love the process of making games, and take at least some precautions that we’re not over-investing in untested ideas, unless we’re truly detached from the success of those games.

Reflection

Beyond "people", diving into the cause of my current frustration requires some deeper reflection on my part to try to address some of these issues. My trains of thought are:

It’s okay not to finish things.

The point of hobbies is to spend time on stuff we enjoy. Even watching movies is a valid hobby. Fall in love with the process more than the end result. And if you don’t love the process (or most of the process), and don’t see a way to bringing yourself to enjoy the process, maybe this is actually not the best hobby for you.

For me, this doesn’t just apply to games, but also software and libraries and programming in general. At least it has the added benefit of not taking up physical space in the house!

Yes, it’s of course nice to finish things, but something is only "finished" for a relatively short time before you’re off working on something unfinished again. So embrace unfinished things.

It’s a painfully pervasive belief that even our hobbies need to be productive (hustle culture).

If you like crocheting, you don’t need to turn that into a business. If you like cooking or baking, you don’t need to monetize that. If I like making games, I don’t need to finish a game and sell 10,000 copies. Most often, a hobby is just a hobby: something we enjoy doing, end of story.

Other people finish things. Many more people don’t.

And for people who do finish things, you don’t really know how much time they sunk into it or how many people they had working with them. Even if you do have amazing individuals who finish impressive games, they may have been working on it full time, and to be blunt, may just be wired differently from me. If I’m spending 2 hours a day on whatever my idea of the week is, of course I’m going to lose inertia before I finish it if it’s going to take months or years to finish at that rate.

I’m still learning about myself, my limitations, and my processes.

I tell myself the games I want to make aren’t the kinds of games I could ever reasonably finish; but perhaps I’ve lost sight on why I like making games. Is the point to finish and sell it? Or to create an experience people can enjoy? Does it have to be multiplayer? Does the experience have to have replayability?

Affirmations

It’s okay not to finish things. It’s okay to start things I don’t think I’ll be able to finish.

Of course, if I could set myself up for success and making incremental progress, I should give that a try.

My hobbies don’t need to be productive.

Even for creative hobbies, where I have some vaguely product-shaped thing at the end, that thing is not the point. The journey is the point—embrace it.

Stop comparing myself to others. Compare myself only to my past self, with compassion.

Everyone’s journey is different. We’re all going different places at different rates.

Life is a learning experience.

What’s right and wrong, and your processes and whatever, are worth reflecting on periodically, especially when I’m in a rut. It feels bad sometimes, but I’ll be better on the other side.

Conclusion

What’s the purpose of hobbies? They’re pretty much just a survival mechanism to unwind after work, and to employ and develop your skills and your mind in a way that’s fun and interesting. There’s no need to compare your "progress" to others. There’s no need to track "progress" at all, unless that’s truly an essential part of your hobby. Your hobbies are all about you, and ONLY you, and no one else can give them purpose.